Although this isn't a current relevant situation of mine, MAN has it ever been in the past. Breakups mean that the future has again become opened up and undetermined (as when we are in relationships, we tend to map it out mentally, to either involve or revolve around the other).

I've tried every tactic to deal with a breakup. Many of us shop, binge drink, binge eat (Ben and Jerry's!) and even serial date. Although I can't say what's right for every single individual, I can tell you with 100% confidence that each of these actions deliver consequences that will give you an entire other catastrophe to recover from. Debt, illness, depression, weight gain, and... I don't really want to list the potential regrets of serial dating. The truth is, dating TOO much just means too many let downs (because only so many people are actually right for you and will jive with you). This can lead to a lack of confidence in ever finding the partnership you're looking for. And then we end up back at the shopping, the bottle-hitting, the ice cream-smashing.

If you are currently in this situation, you may not want to follow any advice. Sometimes we shut out what's practical and progressive. But, this has worked magically for me, every time. And I do urge you to give it a shot.

We are tempted to seek out setbacks, self-destruction, maniacal behaviour after a breakup. Why? We all know this will only dig a deeper hole. And self-pity, which provokes these actions, is an extremely unattractive quality.

If you are sad, be sad - by all means. But, now it is you alone. You are responsible for you. And no, he/she is not going to make you happy anymore, so you have to pick up the pieces. You probably know where I'm going with this. But now is the perfect time to start re-building your body and re-building your health. First of all, the endorphin rush after a good workout beats all other feelings. If you begin at the right intensity, do what feels good for your body (nothing more, nothing less), you will feel AMAZING afterwards. Then, take a look in the mirror. You will be glowing. And then, check in with how you're feeling about yourself and your life. Opportunistic, progressive, confident, excited. I'm not kidding - physical exercise does all of these things.

After your workout, you will be giving off an entirely different energy to people around you. When you work on becoming the best possible version of yourself, you will attract the best possible match. Someone who will encourage all of your strengths and will somehow push your weaknesses into the shadows, or diminish them entirely. You cannot find a person who does this, when you are feeling low, pitiful, weak, and self-damaged.

This isn't to say your workouts are the only thing that you should pick up while feeling bruised. Any other interests you've had that contribute to overall wellness should be tackled now. Any situation in which you will learn more about yourself is good. Take a cooking class, take on a new avenue of study - whatever you do, invest in yourself.

Remember, the physical is the parent of the mental and the emotional. You need to clean that up first, and the rest positively follows along behind. The next time that you are on the treadmill, the trail, jumping rope... think about everything you want in your life. Be aware that everything has opened up in front of you for a reason. Don't sit and wait for things to come to you.

Go get them. Start with a workout. Believe me.

*photo found @ www.askmen.com

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