When meeting prospective clients for the first time, "look better" and "feel better" are two of the most common goals I hear. Some, however, blush and feel shame occasionally when they tell me they want to look better. There seems to be a bit of a shift - and perhaps it's because I talk SO MUCH about all of the internal changes, that they're worried they appear shallow.

I do think it can be compromising to try to look good for other people, but to look better for yourself and be pleased with who you are is important, and nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't make one shallow. When we are not happy with how we look, it simply means that we feel that we are physically misrepresenting ourselves. There's a lack of synergy between who we are living as and who we feel we're meant to live as. Does that make sense?
(My head's a little foggy today as I'm blogging from bed with an infection in my throat and a very stuffy nose - talk about looking good. Hence the Kermit the Frog photo. My delirium thought it was funny, since I sound like him today.)

You live once. You have one body. No one wants to go through life feeling like they're in the wrong body - one that will have them avoiding getting dressed up rather than looking forward to it. One that will feel heavy and despondent once called upon for activities instead of bursting with enthusiasm. And being proud of your body does not mean showing it off, it means taking advantage of life. Feeling congruent. Feeling ultimately like you are where you belong. It leads to higher confidence and being more opportunistic. We tend to avoid things when we're feeling less fit or attractive by our own standards.

If I didn't touch on this, and only ever babbled about interior gains, I would be full of you-know-what and we all know how I feel about bull-****ing.
Feeling comfortable in your body, and feeling attractive, at least to yourself, matters. 

I tell clients that when we do everything right, being in our best body becomes inevitable. I tell them this because you can't chase the exterior outline and end up with all of the other health and strength factors in their place. Typically, when "look better" trumps "feel better" in the order of goals, corner cutting begins and both remain out of reach. When we do everything right to feel better, we will without a doubt be in our best body on the outside, as well. I've seen it many times in my recruits. :)

So no. It's not shallow to have "looking better" on your list of goals. It's perfectly okay. The best way that we can improve our lives is by being honest with ourselves, stop shaming and judging each other (as well as ourselves) and move confidently after what we know that we want.

 

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