I'm pretty sure about this one. After over a decade of examination, hundreds of clients, my own personal experiences and those of all my friends and family, there is little to no doubt in my mind. If you are having trouble accomplishing a goal, it is more than likely due to feeling already pre-determined to fail, like you're stuck in some storm of negativity and discomfort, like you have not yet opened the door to where you want to go, but rather are standing in front of it. And it has a mirror on it. And you're grumpy as you look in that mirror. Something is pushing back at you, preventing you from organizing the details of embarking on a better lifestyle path.
I was listening to a health and fitness expert on the radio the other day answer "What do you think is the biggest deterrent to people adopting and securing a healthy lifestyle?" Time management was the answer - finding the time. This is the number one excuse, in my opinion. However, if you wake up 5 minutes earlier, go to sleep 5 minutes later, and cut 10 minutes into your lunch break - bam. You have a 20 minute opportunity to bump your heart rate, build some muscle and become a fit person. Money? Work out at home - there are millions of free options these days and you don't need much space. If you're tired, you have to push through a little bit to get the benefit of increased energy levels. It will balance out after a push.
Ultimately, my clients are soaring toward their goals when they feel great. When they have one successful week behind them, the door is already open, they can see behind and ahead of themselves in their quest, and they're feeling good. What sometimes has us standing at that closed door longer than ever is lethargy, grumpiness, self-doubt - discouragement. Maybe we ate a donut today. 'So f*** it.' Maybe we got splashed by a puddle. Maybe somebody made a comment to us about our bellies that got misconstrued (or was straight up unsupportive). Either way, it is a FEELING that is the difference between flying on forward, or remaining stuck.
So, how do you get the door behind you? That wall or jerk-push-back of discouragement staring at you? You have to PUSH it open and walk through it. My literal message is, face it all head on, take a breath in, breathe it out and GO. Grocery shop and plan some meals. Schedule a few relatively easy workouts to get started. Tick some boxes. Make a few moves forward. They don't have to be leaps, they really don't. In fact, better at first that they're not. Make small progressive steps forward, in order to get that door behind you. Because once the thick and obtrusive DISCOURAGEMENT turns to a soft and engaging ENCOURAGEMENT, when you look all around you and feel on your way somewhere in the middle, it will be so much easier. You'll be smiling more, feeling better, feeling on top and in control. And now you'll be in the space where you feel capable, you know you want it, it's becoming part of you and not something separate from you that you're staring at.
The psychology behind our actions is an important thing to understand. What is it going to take to push that door open? Why haven't you? Are you sad, frustrated or intimidated? Are you ready for change? Changing the lifestyle is a bit difficult, it requires habit changes, time management, a commitment. But the hardest part sometimes can be to face your discouragement HEAD ON, and then take it on. Manipulate it. Decide it's yours, mould it like clay. Take it into your hands. There shouldn't be any walls up between you and what you want for your personal development or your health when it comes to lifestyle.
As always, if you'd like some help, I'm here.