When I talk about obstacles, I'm not talking about people who sabotage, time management, your gym's hours or the people who bring cakes into the office. I'm talking about the obstacles that are within you, that have perhaps kept you from really accomplishing your goals. Maybe for years!
Having felt a bit held back and a bit off, myself, I had to get really honest with myself about my obstacles. It wasn't easy. One part of this actually took me more than a decade. You have to identify the psychological reason that it feels like a hurdle. Why does it feel insurmountable? And again, I'm not talking about technicalities. But from within you, where the real action happens, why have you kept taking turns while en route to that accomplishment?
Answering the WHY is the real trick. I feel that in order to prove my point, I have to give a personal example. Someone the other day told me that I'm very independent. I sort of stopped to think. I wondered why this struck me, and why then I had stood in my own way in some regards. In many ways, yes. I run my own business, I travel alone. In other ways, I am quite dependent. I rely consistently on communication and interaction with my clients, friends and family. I crave company much of the time. However, this comment had me reflect on "independence" and I realized that sometimes what I do in fact do is alienate myself, tuck myself away, when I'm finally thriving. And this has nothing to do with dependence or independence, but more so with avoidance. I now understand it as an obstacle, I understand where it comes from, but blaming something in our pasts does nothing to help accept, take ownership and thus overcome. So, this is my WHY. And then the difficult next question can be the HOW.
I want you to now think about your WHY. And then move onto your HOW. How were you deflecting from your own stride toward that accomplishment? One person shared that if she makes one unhealthy move, she'd focus so much on that negative that she failed to see all the positive steps she'd taken. In this case, though we don't know her WHY, her HOW was settling into diversion and then discouragement. That halted her, because it would steer her right off track, when she allowed herself to feel defeated while trying to make change.
Here is the answer, all. It can be difficult to answer these questions to yourself honestly, it can take years. I'm hoping that by presenting this idea, it might save you some time.
If you can press your shoulders down, lift your chest and chin, engage your core, and strongly answer your WHY and your HOW, you are ready to defeat your obstacles. And from there, if you want a bit of support and guidance, you are in the best position to benefit from help.
This can be your year. Not just your year, but your moment where you turn this fogginess or grime or whatever it is slowing you down on its head.
The psychology of making positive change is dense, but it is a thing my clients and I discuss most often. It's complex, but incredibly applicable and vital. Give it some thought, and hopefully it helps propel you toward your best life.